Travel Journal through Israel thus far – Sept. ‘17 – Jan. ‘18

Sept. 3rd, 2017 – 8:00 PM – Madrid, Spain – Airport

Starting a new journal today as I also started a new journey. I have had a very long layover in Madrid and did not sleep well on the flight here so I’ve been quite jet-lagged. In a few hours from now I’m heading to Israel for a long mission. I will be studying my master’s degree at the University of Tel Aviv for Middle Eastern Studies. Excitement is an understatement. If possible I will make the effort to eventually write a thesis. Furthermore I am giving up my five main addictions: alcohol, tobacco, weed, sexual activity, and meat. I have said for sometime that if I went back to school I would do it right, full bore and no messing around and I believe this is that time.

I’ll arrive at 5 am and if all goes as planned I will take the train to the station near Adam’s house and drop off my main school backpack. Afterwards I’ll take my smaller backpack and leather satchel on the bus to sit a vipassana at Deganya Bet. I’ll serve two more weeks after it is finished and then head to the goat farm near Nazareth called “Goats With the Wind.” After two weeks here I’ll head back to Adam’s, get my student visa and school starts October 17th. I’ll be sharing a dorm with three random international graduate students. Lots of excitement to come.
I feel like a young Mike Tyson entering his prime going to academia. It’s a crazy rush and I don’t know what’s going to happen. 🙂

Sept. 4th – 8:30 am – On bus from Netanya to Tiberius
So more or less everything has perfectly worked out. I got to see Adam and drop off my bag. Unfortunately he took me to the wrong station, but an hour later and I found my way.

Once I get to Tiberius, I have to wait for a shared taxi to vipassana at Deganya. I booked travel insurance late night to secure my time at the center. When I arrive at Tiberius, I need to print it out and get detergent and an adaptor.

Before I left Arkansas, I successfully raised $5,000 for local charities through a local gallery called the Golden Turtle Art Gallery. Was a smashing success!

Tel Aviv sunset.

Made it to Tiberius! Went to market and bought some amazing hummus, ok olives, and bread. Got a little ripped off on the bread and a bottle of water… Getting ripped off is ok at the beginning, because usually I don’t know the price of things.

After food I went to my favorite swimming spot in Tiberius and it was amazing. The water level was at least 10 to 15 feet less than last time I was there.

My question today, specifically after reading more of Julius Evola (who is absolutely incredible), is are Israeli women more beautiful because they were born more spiritually evolved or is it genetics?

Sept. 14th – 5:30 PM – Deganya Bet, Dhamma Pamoda
It is Metta day at at Dhamma Pamoda. Last time I was here I was doing construction on the center so I have come full circle in a way. I was supposed to serve the next course but I have decided to move on in my travels. I will go through Tiberius, Tzfat, Nazareth, and then the goat farm. Everything has been perfect.

Must practice more with non-verbalization and not looking for anything – no expectations.

Sept. 15th – 11:30 AM – Tiberius – Yali’s Restaurant
I really feel like this morning’s meditation taught me exactly what I’ve been doing wrong in meditation, the last morning of all time! I have to remove verbalization completely. Goenka has told me so many times and yet since my first course I verbalized. I always have. AND I was telling everyone how I was sort of retiring from vipassana! I met a lot of wonderful people though and basically have connections all over Israel now. 🙂 Just wonderful people.

I made it to Tiberius and plan on staying for two nights at the hostel here, then three nights in Tzfat, and then 2-3 nights in Nazareth before heading to the farm. Very interesting that all of the major Jewish holidays are coming up over the next few weeks. I’ll be in Nazareth for Rosh Hoshanah and then the farm for Yom Kippur.

I joined the Facebook group for other people in my MAMES course and they all look freaking amazing. Like seriously. Could not be more stoked about it. When I explained it to everyone at the center, they all though it was pretty cool.

I’m heading to the Jordan River to a jam session with two people from Germany that I met. A nice guy and girl. Think it will be epic. Think I will meditate before.

Sept. 23rd, ‘17 – Abu-Ashraf – Nazareth
Well I’ve let go pretty hard over the last week. Lots of drinking and smoking. So I didn’t last too long. I am staying one more night in the Fauzi Azar to watch the Hog game than I’m moving to the goat farm in Yodfat. I think that is exactly what I need. A place for creation, discipline, and working with animals.

I traveled with a German girl of Afghani descent for three days. All was fun, but our convos sometimes got too deep and our perspectives were quite different. She left yesterday to go to the Jordan River with another group.

Sept. 26th, ‘17 – 7:00 PM – Yodfat, Goats with the Wind
I made it to the goat farm on Sunday. Been working HARD past two days. Like no joke hard. Lots of heavy lifting. Lots of irrigation in the hot, hot sun. Some very nice people here though. Amnon and Dahlia are doing very well. The farm looks great. I’ll take over milking the French goats tomorrow. I’m hoping I don’t mess it up.

There is one lady named Stephanie from Germany here. One girl from Brazil named Natasha. A young guy from Israel named Ron. An older man from New Zealand came last night named Grant. And a new American girl named Donna.
Hopefully my body can get more in the flow since I have been very drained from the heat and work. Other than that very happy.

Ron, Natasha, and I working in the pens.

Sept. 27th, ‘17 – 7:00 PM – Goats with the Wind
Today was much better. Starting to get in the flow. It is always much better when we work with someone else I feel. Ron and I worked on cleaning the wedding area more today. It’s getting there. Maybe one more or half a day and it will be clean.
Either tomorrow or the next day we may go to the local pub in Yodfat. Should be fun.

Sept. 28th, ‘17 – 6:30 PM
Once again a great day. Heading to the pub here in a bit. Yom Kippur is tomorrow.

Sept. 29th – 6:00 PM
Today is Yom Kippur. The Day of Atonement. Usually people don’t do anything all day and they fast, but we still have to work tomorrow.

Last night was epic though. Ron and I went to the Yodfat pub and had such a fun time. You can’t buy beers, but they are charged to the members of the community. Only people from the mokshav can go,but since we are volunteers we were very welcome. We danced the night away with lots of beautiful people. Tonight is an epic dinner.

The food here

Sept. 30th, ‘17 – 10:00 AM
Shabbat shalom. Finished our work for the morning. Probably will help milk goats later and feed the goats/animals tonight. New week starts tomorrow. Main events will be the week long holiday of sukkot and also a big wedding on Thursday. Two of Amnon and Dahlia’s daughters came last night and are spending the day here. Leia and Hedel. Both very nice. Hedel has two children and Leia works in film in Tel Aviv.

I’m fasting on only liquids until dinner tonight for Yom Kippur. I am also trying to finish a a book.

Oct. 1st, ‘17 – 7:00 PM
Good day today. Stephanie left, but we received four new volunteers. Angela from Germany. Judith from Germany with Yeron from Israel. And Nana from Israel. I may get to start going to the dairy shop soon but I’m not for sure. Enshallah.

Oct. 2nd, ‘17 – 8:00 PM
Hardest day so far was today. Worked from 6:20 in the morning until 6:30 pretty much non-stop. I got put onto a new fun construction project building a wall with an arch for the wedding. Dug holes for the new sukkot going in and lastly was almost killed putting up a tent for the wedding which we finally got put up. All around tough but a little shoesh helped the pain.

Designs for archway.

Oct. 4th, ‘17 – 7:00 PM
Had a good day today after another tough one yesterday. A big group of us went to the pub last night for burgers, which were amazing. Tonight is first night of Sukkot, which goes for seven days. Tomorrow is the wedding so it should be pretty crazy.

I messaged Adam yesterday that I will be heading to his place on the night of the 14th for two days. I need to get my student visa on the 15th and then I check in to my dorm on the 16th. We talked a lot last night about transferring the work ethic and physical energy into school work ethic and mental energy for my master’s program. There is something special about transferring to a far distance for school. Excited beyond words.

Near finished Arch.

Oct. 8th, ‘17 – 8:00 PM
Past two days were really rough. I was working in the kitchen cooking, washing dishes and being a waiter. Only Ron and I were left so we had a lot of work. But today was chill.

Around 4 PM, Amnon and I took a sheep to the nearby city Calcum. I thought we were taking it to get a hair cut, but actually we took it to the butcher. Miscommunication. The butcher was fat and fast with the knife. The neck was cut and the blood ran into a drain. The sheep was in my arms the whole car ride and his head was on my chest. When we pulled into the butchers shop I realized what was about to happen. I held the sheep, patted him and told him he was being promoted to a better life. His time was done. Tonight we ate his liver.

A new group of volunteers we affectionately and secretly call “fresh fish” arrived. The next week should be easy. And it rained tonight for the first time. Hopefully our roof didn’t leak too much. We will replace it this week.

Oct. 10th, ‘17 – 9:00 PM
I might be going to the desert on the 12th.

What good is freedom of speech if no one has anything to say?
I’m not going to be here forever.

Gateway before we started working on it.
Gateway after. Such a happy fence!

Oct. 19th – 1:30 PM – Tel Aviv – University Sportscenter
So I have made it to Tel Aviv and successfully checked in. All is very well. I’m chilling at the pool at the moment and loving it. They have a wonderful jacuzzi and sauna, a huge gym, and tons of classes. I’m going to get a pass for the year soon. $600. This afternoon if it is ok I’m got to do feldenkrais and kickboxing.

Everyone in Middle Eastern Studies class is mad chill. I start classes on Sunday. The teachers seem awesome. Lots of good energy.

I met and a wonderful woman at Kuli Yama the other night. Deep dancing connection.
Excited about school. Still need my student visa. Hopefully I can get it soon.



January 10th, 2018 – noon

On this day, at this moment, I have found the reason why I have been sent to Israel to study. As an historian, as historians, I, and we, have a duty to penetrate and to discover hidden truths waiting to see the light of day. We do this not only to bring a greater peace to the world, which can only occur when a closer certainty of events has been established, but to glorify specific people or leaders who made tough decisions for their own people, and in a round about way, all people. For history is ultimately built by God, through man. It does us no good to only repeat what the commonly thought history is, but to shatter these preconceptions and to build anew hopefully closer to the truth of what actually occurred.

Perhaps I am here because only a outsider, with only the intention of discovering truth, could find the deeper secrets. Furthermore, I am fully aware of the dangers that are present in this quest for truth. I can’t help that from a unconscious perspective, my mind sees and puts together these truths. From a conscious perspective, I can only choose to proceed or not. I consciously choose to do so because I believe that is what God wants me to do.

My view in Jerusalem during Christmas.

The thesis I will be working on (perhaps) is to connect the early events of Israeli history in a more synthesizing way, explaining that specifically the events of 1967, 1973, and 1978 were not unconnected but completely thought-out and pre-planned by someone or a group of individuals. Essentially, Israeli’s leadership knew that a war was eventually going to come, so instead of waiting they planned and pushed for it. That is why the two “wars” were so quick and limited in their destruction. Multiple people could have not even have been aware of what they ultimately were doing. Uncovering truth can shine a glorifying light on the leaders and heritage of Israeli’s past, which can in essence be shared by all Israelis.

I know this is what I’m supposed to do, I know the inherent dangers, but I also know what these people would have known, perhaps even have hoped for, that someone who would have been able to come along to tell their full story. I do it for them. Give me strength and guidance Lord. May your will be done.

4:00 PM Notes of Frederick Douglas Conference with John Stauffer

“He was attempting to ‘out-citizen’ citizens in a land attempting to stop blacks from being citizens.”

I am almost finished with my first semester at TAU International, studying Middle Eastern Studies for my Master’s degree. So far the year has been truly extraordinary and beyond my wildest dreams. At the moment, I could not be happier.

I will end up having A’s in both my written and spoken Arabic courses, and I am currently working on three papers. One for my Selected Topics of the Middle East course with Itamar Radai. Another for my Reading and Writing the Middle East course with Brandon Friedman. And the last is for Professor Elisheva Machlise’s Advanced Islamic Studies course. I am planning on dedicating myself extremely to this process from the end of the semester Jan 21st until the start of the 2nd semester around March 5th.

I have an amazing new place to live and work on Rothschild Ave in the heart of the city. It is a wonderful refuge and enclave. It might be the best place (in terms of what I like or need at this moment) that I have ever lived at. Pure manifestation and karma.

New refuge.

I’ve met soooo many wonderful people from all over the world so far. Everyday it seems I meet more.

This weekend I’m going on a wine tour with my class, next weekend I’m going to a film premiere of the movie which just won a Golden Globe for Best foreign film with my friend from Italy. On the 17th we have a trip to see the Grand Mosque of Jaffa.

At the wine tour

Oh, and today I decided to quit social media, and surfing the online news (altogether) for an indefinite time. There is a feeling that since I’m so confident and optimistic of the future I don’t need it any longer. Now I am focused fully on restructuring and reconstructing the past. For peace can only truly be here when we have no more secrets to hide. Blessed.

Jan. 19th, ‘18
Sitting at a bar on Ibn Gabriel and Pinkas, coming to a realization I may just publish this journal on the blog soon… Why not? I have no secrets to hide… to an extent 😉

Some of the kids that I volunteeer with every week. They come from asylum seeking families in Eritrea and Sudan.

Jan. 21st – 7:00 PM
Well my goal to finish with as high of grades as possible is going well so far. I received a 93% (after a slight correction) in my Fusaa written Arabic course and a full 100% in my spoken Arabic course. First time to receive a 100% in my life. It was not easy, but pure concerted effort. Hard to not miss a single question all semester. Now 40 days to focus all my energy into 3 papers. Before, time to celebrate…

Jan. 24th, – 10:00 AM
I am getting to work now on the three papers. I am not going to say what they are about at the moment, but perhaps I will publish all three on this blog after I have turned them in.

So to take full control I will have to eliminate certain things from my daily habits… So far the main list is: Drinking, smoking, TV and movies, Facebook, surfing the internet for news, meat, sexual activity. What I can do: Read, Write, Workout, Eat, Sleep, Go to the beach if it is sunny… 🙂

Wish me luck! See you on the flip side!

Update: Had to post this new Jordan Peterson speech. When people like this are giving speeches like this, you know that humanity is winning. And haha here is a prediction… Hip hop culture (or more specifically China’s attempt to ban it) will actually save China. Word up to PG One and GAI!


Blessed! At the Dead Sea in December.

Lady Justice is Knocking on the World’s Door

As I was chillin’ by the pool today with my pomegranate a thought came to me…

As human beings we have a primordial need to see justice being carried out to the unjust, especially when it comes to the elite or those in leadership positions. If one has asked themselves what is wrong in life, or what they were missing, one simple answer could be the lack of justice that we have seen for the majority of our lives. I would argue living in a world absent of true justice is actually quite an anomaly historically-speaking. And yet that is the world that “they” have attempted to build. That’s why it feels so strange. So awkward. This is all about to change.

Take a deep breath and smell the air. In one week take another deep breath and see if you can smell the difference… The air is about to change and it will never be the same again.

The snakes have taken over the henhouse. But have no fear, if one chops the head off a snake, the snake will always die. It just took them a lot of time to find the head. Now the executioner’s ax is fully sharpened. There will be nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. No hole to slither into…

For those concerned with reputation above all else, the death of one’s reputation can be worse, and certainly more “eternal”, than death itself, for one’s reputation transcends death. History has never been kind to the wicked.

Justice is coming and it’s going to be oh so sweet.

And from last night…

Called this +6 months ago. This video gave me goosebumps all over…. The world is about to change more drastically than it ever has perhaps in “modern history”. I’ve said since the beginning that whoever is guilty should always be held accountable. Justice is coming swiftly. Look at how literally every foreign leader is praising Trump at the moment. They all know what is about to happen. Look at the consolidations of power sweeping the world. The rats are about to be dethroned. Forever…

“For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light.” Luke 8:17

The big D is about to be the big heee-ro.

What a plan.

Hold on to your butts, strap on your seatbels. cause it gonna be a wild ride.

World War 3 is averted! A big scandal is about to take down McMaster. Peace is here!

Holy smokes, I just figured it all out!!!!!!!!!
Trump put McMaster as the head of the NSC in order to put the biggest rats in our military “in charge” so when the false flag was carried out, and then Trump bombed Syria, he can then came out and say the fake intel that McMaster passed and used was incorrect! You have to put the rats out for everyone to see! Trump is the master chess player! 
They knew this would happen and allowed it to stop the American War Machine!!! Holy smokes.

He is about to expose McMaster and Petraeus and bring them down! 

It is nearly impossible to take the Deep State down, but you can handicap and make the Deep State ineffective if you can remove the main players in the military who are complicit with the Deep State. That is in the process of being handled at this moment.
They essentially bait the main players, McMaster, Petraeus etc., see what they do, see their plans, and then when enough evidence is gathered they will arrest them and accuse them of treason. Then you take all of the officers below them who they have promoted for going with the program and promote those who are actually good people. World changes overnight.
There will be such a huge support boost for Trump WORLD-WIDE. In the USA. In the Middle East. Trump can come out and vindicate Obama, Bush, etc. saying that they have uncovered a huge conspiracy of passing fake intel etc. to spread their plans… He can apologize to Syria, Iraq, Libya, Afghanistan and offer reparations and support in rebuilding their countries. It will be huge

Mark it down!

Holy shit this is big if true.

Assad is awesome. Even if his name is scary, he is very intelligent, strong, but not threatening… And if God wanted him dead, he would surely be. He has said that when the civil war is finished a new leader will be chosen through democratic means. He will be a great leader for many years to come in the Middle East in one way or another.

Now if we can just stop funding terrorists (Thank you Tulsi Gabbard) and stop launching missiles at the drop of a false flag hat, we just may have some peace. If McMaster and Petraeus are taken down, the wars will essentially be over.

Bring North and South Korea to the negotiating table and sign a peace treaty to end the war! If both of these things happen, peace will be here fast… and a lot of people will be celebrating. Aspire for it and it can come.

Embrace Our Evolution

July 25th, 2016

Villa de Leyva, Colombia

It is nearly impossible to imagine who we can become if we allow the world to fully mold us into what IT needs. This is all that I have tried to do in my life. To BE what is missing in the world, at least in my own perspective changing with time. Recently my viewpoint is shifting, however, and I feel that the world does not need anything, at least from me. It does not need my opinions or perspectives or theories. This allows me to just share freely, without any form of obligation, and freedom from duty and obligation is a great freedom indeed.

La piscina en Proyecta Gaia 🙂
I believe we are living in a perfect creation, along with all the ups, downs, and spills and this contrast, even great, is necessary for full appreciation. This realization, if truly understood and believed, can bring great peace. The peace to roam freely and to accept the fate assigned.

Sacred Wild Amanita Muscaria spotted while searching for caves!

I value the personal relationships that I have developed more then anything and especially creating new ones. As a traveler, this is my addiction. Creating and developing relationships that could not have existed unless I “gave it a shot” and consciously attempted to make new ones.

Who I am is only because of the people I have been around in my life. Everyone I have ever met has had some change, whether big or small, on my character. Without all of these changes, I would not be me, and I fully appreciate all of these “meetings”… 

I feel that one of the most harmful things that we can do to ourselves is to create a situation in life where we can no longer change. Change is an integral part of our human nature. Just as important as air, water, food or love. Our emotions, our desires, what is important to us, all of this will change throughout our lives. Resisting our own evolution, ultimately, is always futile, in this life or the next.

Why not instead embrace the transformation, choose to evolve and see who we can become? Staying in the shallow water is fine and dandy, but only after we learn to wade and swim in the depths can we find the pearls waiting to be discovered… I embrace my evolution.

Bogota street art.

The only way to live a great life may be to not consider what we do in the present to be great. Perhaps it is better to always consider “great things” as something beyond what we are currently doing. Not that we won’t do great things. But by considering them as ‘normal’, we can continue to aim for even “greater things” in the future. Then, perhaps, we can truly shoot for the stars.

I have never purposefully aimed for fame or “greatness” in this life, but more so for great experiences, which I feel I have been blessed with, rather than acquired. If these experiences continue at the same rate they have, or slow down entirely, I will be happy even just for the memories obtained in this life.

Last night by the fire in Gaia.

I am just now finishing two months in Colombia and have had an absolute blast. Beyond what I could have imagined. It is mind-blowing how many incredible people I have met. Such a huge concentration of wonderful beings all around and my gratitude is boundless for this experience.

The couple that I lived with, Beatriz and Sylvio, were the perfect hosts for my first time in South America. I feel blessed to have worked with them and to see such a great example of happiness from realizing potential, on small and grand scales.

Exploring in the rain with friends.
In three days I am heading to Lima, Peru to do a bit of bio-construction at the Vipassana center there. After that I will visit an old friend near Cusco I met a while back in Israel. I am super stoked because a lot of what we talked about and shared then I now believe to be true even though at that time I didn’t. I am excited to see what conversation comes about now that we are more in line in understanding and perspective. Allowing ourselves to change and being able to observe our transformations is one of the greatest gifts that we have. Embrace it!

Clem sending out those pool vibes.
Free from obligation, I am just a servant now, but I feel that if I serve myself, I am also serving the world; it is not selfishness, it is an investment. I only know what is best for myself, and not what is best for the world. This “best” is constantly changing, and that is fine to me. Just filling in the cracks of what is missing or imbalanced in the world. I strive to be flexible like water, going anywhere like the wind, rooted like the earth, and passionate like the flame.


“Be like water my friend.”

Do I feel I can stop this path if I don’t have to? Not really. But why would I want to?

Seemingly, I always feel my life is just getting started… And I love it.

Captured a moment of happiness here.
Thanks for reading!


Ashtavakra said –

1. Oh, the man of understanding, the knower of Self, who plays the game of life, has no similarity to the deluded beasts of burden of the world.

2. Oh, the yogin does not feel elated abiding in that state which Indra and all other gods hanker after and thus become unhappy.

3. Surely the heart of one who has known the Self is not touched by virtue and vice, just as the sky is not touched by smoke, even though it appears to be.

4. Who can prevent that great-souled one, who has known this entire universe to be the Self alone, from acting spontaneously?

5. Of the four kinds of created beings, from Brahma down to the clump of grass, it is the wise one alone who is capable of renouncing desire and aversion.

6. Rare is the man who knows the Self as one without a second as lord of the universe. He does what he considers worth doing and has no fear from any quarter.

Astavakra Samhita Chapter IV: Glorification of Self-Realization”

The best place to dance is not always in the spotlight. Columbiano edition.


Deepness Emerges

Sometimes we can hang and sometimes we can’t. Sometimes others can hang and sometimes they can’t. Part of the journey of Life is about adjusting our individual hanging level as time goes by, fluctuating as might be necessary.

If we can close our eyes when we dance, letting go of any worry of what can happen good or bad during that time, it’s when nothing bad happens over and over incrementally that allows us to slowly fill our trust in the chaos and uncertainty. Eventually we may learn to embrace it.

Can you be who you really are?

Can there be any other way to eventually exist than as who we are on the inside, free of control and inhibition?

Whatever type of life that I am living at any moment I try to do it fully until the need for change appears again. The ability to be constantly vigilant and ready and willing for change is perhaps more important than the change itself. Like the chameleon it may one day evolve to that of a natural instinct… To change on cue with the surrounding environment. The emergence and reemergence of trust in the non-permanence of all things brings joy from within in whatever time it is practiced. Even that is not assured or permanent.

I have realized that if we don’t take notes or write our thoughts throughout periods of inner change or struggle, we may lose or forget important nuggets of our own personal wisdom that has personally arisen and passed away. Can you find the nuggets? Identification is just as necessary as the Unconcious creation of them, hence why writing and philosophy is more conducive when there is a higher unity between the consciousness and unconsciousness within. Compromises and forgiveness are integral to the foundation.

Recording helps to build and compare our prior reference points a little more smoothly because of an intrinsic certain objectivity in the written word. Change is more easily noticed or accepted in our true self when we can see the transformation of what we desire to write about, nearly always beginning perhaps with the meaningless and hopefully venturing onwards towards meaning. As the journey can be witnessed taking place within the individual, it can also be seen within the collective. Overcoming whatever we have built in the past is the constant rebirth of ourself, the newest bulwark to overthrow. Consistent contentment can be a blessing for some, and yet a deep pitfall for others. Lack of contentment can drive us to always look for the greener grass, for better or for worse.

One true test of a civilization is whether we can find a place to dance without fear. Without fear of what others think and without fear of injury. Closing our eyes is important to build our trust, especially in the chaotic tendencies of a dance floor. Happiness may come from seeing how many places or moves we can integrate into our own personal rituals of dancing. Our options in these regards are continually diverging. It would be my hope that there will never be a set or best dance for eternity, and that the law of constant newness of opinion and dance will prevail for as long as there is awareness of dullness and concretism.

As more and more places become open to dancing without fear, the ability emerges to potentially connect on a deeper cultural or tribal level in effect witnessing our ancestral and historical rights as free-acting beings. Our dance has constantly changed based on what we have seen or learnt from the present moment, integrating cultures and speeds of dance as we go. Many times, it’s important to not get stuck on the floor but to keep an eye out for a better place to dance if it exist.
And perhaps we may want to keep an eye on ourself from doing the same dance over and over, but to learn and adapt as the flow goes on…

And lastly, sometimes we may find ourselves as the last person on the dance floor, and the willingness to continue on or to take a break is different in everyone… Sometimes if the fire goes out, then the passion (even knowingly temporary) to begin with can easily be extinguished. The reputation or lack-there of a club is easy to distinguish based upon what occurs on the dance floor. Many times, everything else is of secondary importance.

To me, the art of the “let go” is a process that can be repeated perhaps indefinitely and nearly always provide some puzzle piece or part of the deeper questions that we have for ourselves. The flood is rarely constant and can pass quickly. It can more or less only be learned from experience, and any “teaching” is tough to transmit from one to the other. The feeling of a “let-go” resembles in some ways those from our past, but they also can be very constructive and unique as we remold adding or subtracting elements from the alchemical equation. If we can approach them consciously, we can re-aim our own arrows or shift the water stream in the direction that will grow our inner crops. Plant the seed.

How quickly can we change our masks when there is no resistance or thoughts of being incorrect? Monthly, weekly, daily, hourly? Maybe it is not uncalled for to ask have you ever changed the mask? Was it forced or welcomed? Often our first mask exchanges are because of factors beyond our control. Yet, as time passes it becomes more of a conscientious allowance to be made and followed through with. The unfolding of the self is like the rising lotus in the murky pond. It’s not easy to break through the swamp, but keep pushing and the flower will eventually surface.

Are our transformations sincere? Insincere transformations can be some of our greatest examples of observation. I have a feeling whatever we do if we do so with sincerity will eventually take us to where we actually want to be. The smallest amount of insincerity can be detected by the sincerely aware, even within our own decision-making psyche. Whatever comes out of our daily transformations, its very dependence is based upon the sincerity levels of the life lived. Do we mean what we say and do we act like how we feel? Or is hollow words and ideals the norm? Must we all fake it until we make it? Is it even possible to “make it” or is this the grandest fairy-take of all? Without trying to “make it” into our current paradigm of where “it” is to us, we risk falling to idleness or boredom for the present “it” that we live. And the beat goes on…

What holds us back from going over the edge spiritually?

Dec 8th, 2015

Siloam Springs, AR

First of all, there are many ideas of what “going over the edge” means. Some may think going over the edge means going too far. Some may think it may be going from sanity to insanity. Some may think it means going to the point of no return. The very idea of going over the edge may encompass some of these definitions, but until one does in fact go over the edge, it may be hard to know for sure.

My definition of “going over the edge” is from a spiritual meditation standpoint. It is going from what we can understand, what we are similarly aware of to a state that we have never experienced before, to a point that may not be understandable, and to a point that is not even fathomable because it is beyond our five senses of comprehension. Many that have experienced this point in the past have been unable to explain it because it cannot be put into words. The Irish have an old saying that goes something like this; “The man that reaches the top of the mountain will either come back as a poet or a madman.”

So what stops the meditator from “going over the edge” or from going to the beyond? I would argue that what stops us from going over the edge is not so much the lack of ability to do so, nor deep-seeded addictions to the “physical world”. What stops the meditator from going over the edge is actually that the desire to do so is lost in the higher stages of meditation. “Going over the edge” eventually becomes a desire-less act more or less. It is like putting a cement block on the accelerator of our car and just taking it over the edge. This is also why it is quite difficult to do so in an atmosphere like “real life” where we are surrounded by temptations, friends, and “things to do.”

This is a blessing and a curse. A blessing in the idea that maybe we don’t actually really want to “go over the edge.” For those who have done it in the past, they would surely say “yes, this is what you want to do,” but how do we know for sure this is what is best for all of us. Could it be best for some and not others?

My idea of “going over the edge” and it’s implications is actually a little different than what I have heard or read about in the past. Although this is purely a theory, I ponder it quite often these days. I think is what actually happens is it is like a resetting of our soul. We go from a sculpted soul, sculpted by our experiences from this life and past lives full of complexes, acquired traits, etc. back to that of a “blank soul”. For those who do this in this life, they live out the rest of their days as a “blank soul” until physical death and afterwards perhaps after a period of “spiritual rest” in a bodiless existence they begin the process over again. It could easily be said that these “beings” are perfect in the idea that they are “blank” and have nothing that is “tainting” their soul.

The other possibility is that they do not begin again and are “permanently” in this state of “spiritual rest.” The implications of which of these two possibilities happen may be extremely important in what we all choose to do in the future. Granted the “sculptedness” of our souls are in theory all different and perhaps those who are the most “sculpted” would wish to either “reset” or pass on into “spiritual rest retirement” more than those who are “less-sculpted” or closer to “blank.”

This leads to the question where do souls come from at all? A working answer would be that they continually go through this process of becoming “sculpted” and then eventually resetting to “blank.” Although many may say that the soul does not actually exist and that it is just a jumbling of ignorance and reactionary “sankaras” waiting for liberation, I use the word “soul” as the relative word for this combination.

Going over the edge spiritually is the very essence of faith. It is a journey to the complete unknown. It is a desire-less act. It may be the only “desire-less” act that we ever go through if we actually do in fact “go over the edge.”


Getting Serious about the Seeming Inevitability of Collapse

October 30th, 2015

Siloam Springs, AR, USA

I would like to share something that has been on my mind recently and that is that it is time to get serious about what could be the inevitable collapse of multiple aspects of our culture and society in the Western world and perhaps what to expect in the upcoming future.

In any country, culture, or empire throughout history when a certain amount of the population has lost their will to work (through whatever means), some sort of collapse has occurred to “reset” this will to work within the population. One could call it the law of cause and effect or God’s will or whatever, but it is a necessary evil that has occurred many times throughout history. To assume that it will not happen again is a perilous decision especially in this day and age. How have we lost the will to work and even live?

When a certain amount of the population can make astronomic amounts of money through “easy work”, such as trading the markets and even more so with computer high-frequency trading, or “work” such as sports or acting, where they are paid millions of dollars per season or for a movie, or through selling illegitimate or illegal goods for fast profits, or gambling either in legal casinos or online, it has nearly always been just a matter of time before that country or empire has collapsed. With the addition of welfare on the scale that it has become in our country where money is just printed and handed out to anyone that signs up, this is a recipe for collapse and a recipe for a “reset” to occur. 

When everyone sees their neighbors either making “millions” through “easy methods” or living off of the government, this leads those that are working hard to work less and less and this has led us to this point in time. It is “baked into the cake” at this moment. Because there is not a precedence of the United States and Western world’s magnitude of “losing the will to work”, the “collapse” may be on a scale that has never been seen before.

It is not even a punishment but a necessary evil to reset that country or people to make them a better and happier people in the future. This may not be apparent before or during the collapsed years, but it will be for those who survive and make it through the “tough times”. How long will it last? This depends on many factors, but I don’t think decades is a far off guess for some countries.

In my opinion, for whatever it is worth, the morality in the United States and many Western countries is at an all time low. Whether you take into account our offensive military campaigns against other innocent countries, our drug-fueled and alcoholic society, the abundance and allowance of obscene pornography, the homosexuality that has become a norm in our society which has led into transexuality, or any multitude of reasonings, it is apparent to anyone who has any semblance of what “morality” actually is that we have fallen into immoral times. 

What good does homosexuality or transexuality do except appease the personal desires of the person the participates in it? How does it help society in any way or form? I am not saying that it is a “bad” thing in the individual, I’m saying that it is an “immoral” allowance within the culture. I am saying the “glorification” of it is a systemic rot to a society’s moral code.

Some countries and cultures will bounce from the collapse quickly, while others may never fully recover. Those who have experienced collapses within the last few decades have prepared much more then those who have not recently or anytime in their history. A nature or culture’s assumption of “superiority” and “exceptionalism” and “this will never happen to us” will be the main precursor to the severity of the collapse. It has happened many times throughout history so don’t assume it won’t happen again.

“Prepare for the worst, hope for the best” is a very beneficial motto to live by. The only way that anyone has survived throughout history is because their ancestors saw the “writing on the wall” and moved on to a more “progressive” society or culture in search of better opportunities, which usually occurred in dire times. The one’s who stay behind and have no preparations in place will not last just like those who did so in the past did not last.  

Believe me that I hope I am wrong on all of this, but I feel it is my “duty” to warn people if God puts something on my mind. To keep it to myself would be a disservice to all around me, whether friend, family, or unknown. 

It looks more and more like World War 3 is around the corner and the winners will be those who are best prepared, mentally, militarily, and economically. I do not see the U.S. as prepared mentally, nor economically and these two will factor in to the inevitable defeat of the military because where there is no will to fight nor money to pay the troops, a war cannot be fought. The enemies of the United States know that it is only a small push of the domino and the country will collapse in on itself. They don’t want to push that domino, but will if they can avoid a major World War.

We can only judge our own success in life by how internally happy we are in the present moment. One cannot say I was a success in life and yet still be unhappy in the present moment. Happiness can bring wealth and yet so often wealth brings unhappiness. Those who will continue to judge success based on financial wealth will never be happy and will pass on this delusion to their offspring.

God Bless everyone and try to at least be mentally prepared for the worst that can happen.


Photo courtesy of Podritsky.