Journal Series: Explanation of the Project and First Journal Release, “Prequel to the Blog”

February 23rd, 2018

Starting a new project and wanted to explain it a bit before it happens…

I am going to start a new process of releasing transcriptions of all of my past written journals from my travels that I have never released before. I was thinking of releasing it as a book, but this method should be more fun and I say “why not right now?” I’m leaving them pretty much verbatim of how they were originally written with little to no subtractions or additions. Some may judge me, but I say that I have no regrets of my past actions or how I lived for they all led me to who I comfortably am now. It has not been an easy trip, swinging through the extreme highs and the lows.

I’ll post a new journal or period of my travels once a week until the earliest is released. I’ll release them essentially backwards. For those I have met along the way that have followed my journeys, you may recognize them or even be in the journals themselves. I hope it is ok 😉

I transcribed the majority of my past journals about a year ago. Although I ran out of time on the last few, and some of the good ones were missing… I’ll only release what I have already written… One day maybe I will find the missing ones and release them as well.

A lot of what is written in these journals might be considered as “gibberish”, but for whatever reason at that moment it was important enough for me to write down. Posting these journals will also be a way for me to remember them and not somehow lose them in the future. This is sort a way of recording them online that is accessible wherever I go. Some are notes for my own future.

I had to be wrong many times to find a point where I eventually felt “right.” My perceptions of truth, good and evil, why we are here, are all in these journals, and are transforming constantly from now until the beginning. Most of this should not be taken as advice, although some things can be. I leave it the reader to figure out which is which. There are lots are meditation notes, many were incorrect so it is important to know what these notes are. Some things were to be recorded for later use and perhaps in some ways written to confuse rather than illuminate the way. Hard to explain. Bear with them please 😉

Some things in these journals I still agree with and others I do not, for I was constantly changing throughout them all. That’s why many will agree with some parts and not others and perhaps after reading these again in the future their perspective may change again. No worries… New stuff is coming, but I want to release the old first. For posterity’s sake.

Here goes nothin’

(Just noticed this one is sort of a prequel to the original Sadhu blog writings)… These gonna get crazy. No hatin’! 😉

Feb. 6th, ’15

Focus on the mouth and throat. It’s just a huge layered sankara. Only so many layers. Crazy how “big” it is and how noticeable it is and yet we don’t notice it. I continuously lose my mind and don’t know what I’m doing when clearing it. Have to drum up the will, remember what you are doing, know impermanence or full acceptance and just find the attached (non-moving) pieces of the throat and what it is attached too.

Once I make it past the gates, no one will know who I am.

Because absolute uncertainty exists, there must be an absolute certainty. There will be a time of absolute clarity to where all is certain.

It feels great to say “I have no plan.”

Feb. 7th, ’15

I have no plan.

The layers are falling off one at a time like a cobra who shakes off its skin.

If absolute uncertainty exists, then it would make sense that absolute certainty is possible.

There will be a time of absolute clarity to where all is certain.

No one can force anyone to come.

Feb. 8th, ‘15

Be aware of awareness while scrolling and know it will pass.

The awareness wants to be loved.

There would be no knowing if there was not awareness first. And yet knowing takes it for granted.

Find the Dharmic breath. It is a specific sensation of the whole breath and not just individual sensation. Starts off like feeling big bubbles in the mouth.

Then listen to the music. The vibrations create music and the tune constantly changes. Look for all tunes and listen to the rhythm.

Maybe Dharmic breath is connected to ringing in ears. Or to thought.

Accepting knowing and awareness at same time makes mouth bubbles rise.

Every sankara is just layers of left and right sides of the body. If you can know this nothing will last.

Feb. 9th, ‘15

If I come from the left and right,
Then certainly everything I smell comes from the left and right.

If everything I smell comes from the left and right,
Then certainly everything I taste comes from the left and right.

If everything I taste comes from the left and right,
Then certainly everything I see comes from the left and right.

If everything I see comes from the left and right,
Then certainly everything I hear comes from the left and right.

If everything I hear come from the left and right,
Then certainly everything I feel comes from the left and right.

Every flicker of life is but a layer of either the left or right.

Feb. 11th, ‘15

The smile is the natural position of the face.

Each time I finish meditation, I am uncertain of what the being will be like that emerges anew. What will my new desires or lack of desires be? What will I want to do afterwards that is different than before?

March 10th, ‘15

Don’t need a ticket home. It’s impossible to say you can be off anything for good if you don’t know the future. I don’t look at it as a “bad” thing, just another phase on the journey. Anyways, I’ll offer it to him or to Papa and see what they say. I don’t see it as a “predicament”.

One day what I am doing will make more sense to you. There will be rewards to the work that I am doing even if to you it doesn’t seem like work. One day I’ll make you and everyone else proud enough to not wish me to do anything other then exactly what I am doing. One day I’ll have enough money to pay off my debts and anyone else’s debts that need paid off. That day is not now but I promise it will one day come. Sooner rather then later.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)

I am seeking this “kingdom” and with the proper perseverance, trust and faith through all obstacles I will find it. In this life and not after. When I find it, all things will be added unto me. Money being one of the most meaningless things to me at this moment will be plentiful and abundant throughout my life.

Two years ago, a path opened up for me. A path that doesn’t open for many people or most people can’t see that it is open for them to take. I saw it and so I decided to take it. It is a path that everything must be risked and everything must be given to succeed on, but once the path is traversed everything will be taken care of for oneself and everyone close to oneself. I am not doing this just for me, but for everyone that I am close with and everyone that I will be close with. God has given me everything I needed all along for this path and I intend to see it through.

Paying off my CC does not matter to me. It’s not a mandatory thing to continue on what I am doing. It will get paid off eventually. Thought that trading my past work ( stake in riding Big) for a blank slate of debt is worth it at the time, but it’s not mandatory. I’ll sell my IPhone if I have to. Also no big deal.

I’ll keep going until I find what I’m looking for and I am confident I am not far off.


Nicer message:

Don’t worry about it. It was just 3 months in Japan. Can never say you will be off of something forever unless you know the future. I am off it again at the moment with not a desire in my body.

How were you all planning of acquiring DM’s 75%? Is it not possible to acquire my lowly 6.25%?
Riding Big is sort of DM’s “baby” and something he has wanted for a long time so very unlikely to sell. Also him and Ryan worked out a deal to finish post-production on it, etc.

I don’t need a ticket home but thanks for offering. Only a predicament in your eyes… I’ll figure it out and if the debt continues to rise then so be it.

I am seeking this “kingdom” as our religion suggests. Over the years, at the behest of the Church, Christianity has been forced to use metaphor to elucidate the path that I am on. With the proper perseverance, trust and faith through all obstacles I will find it. In this life and not after. When I find it, all things will be added unto me. It will not be an endless toil working 9-5 for slave wages, running the rat race from one place to the next. “All things will be added unto me,” as in all things will just be bestowed or given to me. I know this is true as I’ve experienced but a small taste of this amazing gift.

Once I find the proper route to this kingdom it will be my “job” to teach others how to also get there. This is the reason I am here. To be a teacher like many before me. Furthermore, with His will, I intend to be the best teacher of the path that the world has ever seen.

One day I promise what I am doing will make more sense to you and the family.

One day I promise to make you and everyone else proud enough to not wish me to do anything other than exactly what I am doing.

And one day I’ll have enough money to pay off my debts and anyone else’s debts that need paid off.

This day is coming soon. Have faith.



Luke 12:33-34 ESV

“Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

It is very important to have little to no money on the path because money leads to temptation or straying off of the path – (thinking that we can create artificial external happiness that can compare to true internal happiness.) What our entire has lacked all these years is inner happiness and inner peace. We have relied on external bought happiness and now everyone lives with regrets. I won’t take this path…

March 12th, ‘15

The heart convulses in its conviction for freedom, even if we don’t always know or feel it. Verily, it is always best just to sit back and watch.

There is something inside of you that is the “I” but it is not you, it is separate, you are not the I.

Many times it thinks and says “I” in thought, but it was not you who thought them, they arose involuntarily separate and came from the abyss. It is easy to be confused into believing that you are it.

Get out you say? It will move, it will swirl, and it’ll crack until it let’s go, and eventually the process will start over again. How many times does it come? Well, that depends on if you have been a good or bad boy or girl.
March 15th, ‘15

Message to Adam:

Hey brother, just wanted to say that I hope all is well. When is your son/daughter coming again? I am about 99% sure I’m going through India again starting end of April. 75% sure I’m doing it on a badass motorcycle. Would love it if you could join for some of the ride. Can’t wait until our journeys coincide again and we can walk together, laugh and enjoy the rays of cosmic sunshine. It is only a matter of time 🙂

Everything is so perfect for me at the moment. Really coming into it since this Lumbini trip and last night to be specific. Think I put it together. Complex (a bit) but step by step I can explain it to anyone 🙂

Miss ya dude! Give Winnie my love!


Go back to concentrating between the eyes and moving through body like regular Vipassana. Anything that arises be with “this is the reality of the present moment, let’s see how long it lasts.” Was doing this last and had great pain arise before I started going back to looking for specific sensations of “bouncing” and focusing behind. One more backtrack but this one is caught pretty quickly.

Try to notice that when awareness moves it is just “happening” and not me moving it. Can it be done? Also notice it moves and then I am aware of it.
March 16th, ‘15 – 1:30 am

Emmys 18th birthday. – I’ve been dancing around the mountain and now it is time to move it! To find it?!? – one splits the eyes both eyes looking “forward” and when this occurs the mountain takes shape. This the mountain that must be moved, by Vipassana and being aware of it and letting the pain arise and pass away. Will work on it tomorrow all day. The eyes center is not between the eyes! Between the mental image!!! I know it’s there because I’ve “seen” it before. Jesus speaks about this mountain.

March 21st, ‘15

Today is my day of silence at Sadhana. I noticed that I always get uncomfortable when I see someone try to force something on someone else. Force them to eat more, force them to do anything.

March 22nd, ‘15

Unless we work a job that requires heavy lifting then why do we need such big muscles?

It is the egos desire to impress either oneself or others. The muscles may seem to be physically growing, but more appropriately it is the ego that is growing and the body takes on this shape.

Be happy with natural muscle tone !

Try to enjoy every moment of the ride of your life. God may one day ask you are you enjoying the ride I have built for you? Every moment? The ups and downs and spins? Even what you may consider to be “good” and “bad”? And the answer should eventually be yes, not I enjoy sometimes and not others. If one can learn to accept everything without great reaction, slowly one will learn to enjoy everything. Even hardwork becomes enjoyable overtime. And the difficult times can even be enjoyable with perseverance. It is all about perspective… Enjoy the ride.

The Earth is our backyard. No matter where you are it is now easy and (cheapish) to go anywhere on Earth. Go where makes you happy. Do what makes you happy. Moving around is in our genes. Being sedentary is unnatural. I guarantee that your ancestors were travelers, as all of our ancestors were hunter/gatherers, true travelers. Make no place your permanent home… Not even Earth is our permanent home 🙂

One may ask “how can I travel when I have a family? I have a wife or husband or kids? Take them! I see so many happy families traveling together it overflows my heart each time. Hunter/gatherers traveled as a family! What are you hunting and gathering? New experiences!!!


We can remove our fear by realizing that the best things always ultimately happen for us, even if we sometimes may consider them to be relatively bad compared to good. This can be called faith in the Divine plan. What worry should we have if the best thing for us is always happening?

Best is not necessarily a upgraded term of good, just as great is not a higher form of good. One can be great but not good, and one can be good, but not great. Best is a word used best in ultimate terms as it will nearly always be subjective in relative terms; aka the best for me may not be the best for you.

March 23rd, ‘15

Minimalist travel promotes or teaches us to have less of an ego, which increases our natural happiness levels. The ego thrives on what it considers to be “mine”. When possessions are limited, the ego is limited. Spiritual development is conducive to this atmosphere. Have you ever met or seen a sadhu? They carry very little. One can tell the size of the ego of a sadhu by the size of the bag he/she carries.


It’s not that I don’t miss you. It’s that I don’t miss anything. Missing something would be craving the past or future. If I were to say I miss you it would just be to make you feel better and not the actual truth.

It’s not that my terms are harsh, it’s just that I know exactly what I want in life.

On another note:
The reason Iran hasn’t been bombed or invaded is that the collective karma of the entire country has not allowed it to happen.


“Why are we here in this crazy world?” – (Extended written version of a Dharma talk presented March 18th at Sadhana yoga)

Why are we here in this crazy world? To build ourselves up materially only to die and pass our “wealth” on to whoever we are close to? Or are we here for deeper reasons?

I believe we are here to fulfill a goal that we set for ourselves along time ago, before we can actually remember. We are here to fill the gap that is within us all. If you have ever felt a yearning for something, but you were unsure of what it was for, this is the goal that I speak about. We are here to cleanse our spirits to such a pristine state that we can return to our home. Where we came from before all of this began. We are very lucky that we have the opportunity to even know that a goal exists and even luckier to have access to knowledge about how to get to that goal within this lifetime. Many saints and sages have came in the past and passed down invaluable information about how to proceed on the path. Maybe I can explain a bit more about it to anyone that is unaware.

Every day I am grateful for this human birth, regardless of what the specific circumstances are. It is very fortunate to be born a human and hard work to achieve. Other dimensions cannot do what we can do. The Buddha emphasized that we are very lucky to be born humans and in contact with the Dharma or with the open knowledge of how to purify ourselves. It has not always been this way. The Dark Ages were dark for a reason, there was a lack or removal of spiritual pursuit from the entire world. Spiritual purification was lost or done in absolute secrecy with the threat of death or torture to the transgressors. One would be burned a witch or heretic if caught meditating or doing purification techniques.

In the heavenly realms above, where the demi-gods and angels live there is an imbalance of pleasure. In the hellish realms below there is an imbalance of pain. In the human existence we have a perfect balance of the duality, of pain and pleasure. This allows us to overcome both because we can ultimately see they are the same and come from the same source. Heaven and Hell do exist but neither are eternal. What type of God would allow anyone or anything to suffer eternally? Those above and those below envy the human existence because we have been blessed with a wonderful temple to purify called the body.

Why are we here? Why do we practice yoga? Meditation? To find inner peace, bliss, liberation, enlightenment? What do these specifically mean? We are very fortunate that we have access to new and old techniques that can help us fulfill our original spiritual goals. Most might not believe this but step by step, I believe we will all eventually reach the final goal. Not just us, but every being in the universe. No man/woman or any sentient being will be left behind. Some will make it relatively faster then others, but all will eventually make it for we have a long time to accomplish this universal goal. If the journey to the final goal requires us to remove 100 tons off of our backs, it all starts with removing a few tons at a time. Even if we just remove a few at a time, it will make the rest of our journey that much easier.

What is reincarnation and how does it relate to the spiritual path? If I were to die tomorrow, and I was reborn again, I would possess the general qualities that I possess now. The general pleasantness, lack of anger or hatred, etc. But if a man full of unpleasantness, full of anger and full of hatred dies tomorrow, he will be born with these general qualities inherent in him in his next lives until they are purified. These are some of the impurities that I speak about, but not all. This is what we are here for, to cleanse ourselves of the impurities, fully, until we are clean enough to go home, to where we come from.

How do we do this? We do this by slowly taming the ego, the false self, by taking control of the mind, by taking control of our lives. By overcoming our reactions and our programming that we have set in this life and the last. The pristine state is characterized by absence of reaction and absence of ego. Absence of reaction is full liberation. Absence of ego is full enlightenment. The basis of the ego is it’s belief that it is separate from others. It thrives on comparison, on believing in its own superiority or inferiority to others.

Have you ever heard “attachment is the source of all suffering?” Famous quote by the Buddha used by the Dhali Lama etc. What are we attached to? Not just material things. We are attached to everything within. Not only our body and our material possessions, but the breath, our feelings, our sensations, our thoughts, our awareness. Out of ignorance and delusion, our ego believes these things to be “mine”. “These are mine”, I can give you my clothes and material possessions and certainly this will be a big blow to the ego (because the more we possess the greater the size of the ego, etc.), but it will still say ok I cannot give you these other things, they are mine. This is living in ignorance. Living in delusion. It may be hard to accept intellectually, but one can experience this truth in the higher states of spirituality which is open to all equally. The Buddha would say there is no thinker of the thoughts. No knower behind the knowing. All of these which we believe are ours, the awareness, feelings, sensations, thoughts, and knowing are just happening independently. They rise and pass away. Put into combination they build the ego, or the idea that one is separate from others, and this causes us great suffering and misery in our lives.

Yoga and meditation can put us in the proper detached mindset to where we can begin to see things as they really are. The universal truths of change, suffering, and no Self. We can slowly start to take the weight of “ignorance” off of our backs. As the foundation is broken up or the roots of our impurities are pulled out, we will start to see the first signs of our true selves emerge. True feelings of peacefulness, bliss, clarity that has been covered up over time by these false feelings and the false ego which keeps us in bondage. The truth is that there is only so much weight to be taken off the shoulders, there is only so much of a stockpile of impurities that have to be removed. Once one knows why impurities come and how to purify oneself it is only a matter of time before they reach the final goal, which is full liberation, full awakening, full enlightenment. One one stops regressing or devolving, one naturally progresses. This “flowering of the human being” has been done by a large number of people throughout our history, known and unknown. It will happen again and again to whoever wants it and whoever finds the right path out, and the right teacher to guide them. It is our collective destinies. The next step in our evolutionary process. Once one finds the proper master, they will turn the student into their own master.

What are some methods to try out?

Observe the natural flow of respiration, whether subtle or gross, whether big or small realize that it occurs on its own. Then realize that it is just happening. It’s not me, nor mine. Do this for a few minutes.

While keeping your attention on the automatic breath, notice whatever thoughts are arising and passing away. Thoughts are a huge source of food and energy for the mind and ego. Realize that they are not your thoughts, they are just happening.

For even a short time period, we can be aware of breath and thoughts with the detached mindset, “These are not me, nor mine, they are just happening.” Slowly the thoughts will become less and less and a calm state can be reached.

In a meditative state, in a detached state of mind, we can move throughout the body feeling our sensations and energy flow with just the mindset “this is just happening… It is not me, nor mine and I am not causing it to happen.” “The sensations, they are just happening constantly, but they are not mine.” When moving through the body, it definitely “feels” like “I” am the one that is causing it to happen, but we know this is not true. Try to feel the distinct but separate feeling that “I” am the cause.

Be with “as it is”, not with what you want it to be. If you are craving or averse to anything than you are going backwards. This is true in meditation and in life.

Another important point is that if at anytime you feel any pain or uncomfortablitiy, don’t think of it as a bad thing. It is a good thing. As pain or uncomfortablitiy arise and passes away you are liberated from that within your body/mind. That pain that is gone will be filled by happiness. In your day to day life a situation may arise that you may have normally become uncomfortable with, and slowly you will no longer become uncomfortable with it. Realize that this is not my pain or my uncomfortability, that it is just pure pain and uncomfortability that is happening. If you get tired or drowsy, just keep on and let it pass away. The more it comes and the more it passes away, the greater your energy levels will be in the future.

All of these techniques will help us to realize that we are not the doer in the physical sense of the phrase. This is the goal of spirituality. To remove our sense of doership.

Slowly we can free up mental energy for other uses. The mind including ego uses a full 35% of all our stored energy. Once we begin to purify ourself this number begins to slowly drop and we can use it for other means. This energy can heal us, it can make us look and feel younger, it can make us think more clearly. One can feel an overall more awakened state. Our general energy levels will rise.

All of this info can be utilized in your yoga and meditation practice.

The ultimate understanding is to realize that everything including knowing is just happening. Knowledge exists independently and is not “yours” or “mine”. There are two types of people in the world. Those that know a lot and those that know little. Most of the time, those that know little are much happier then those that “know” a lot. This is because the person that knows a lot develops a ton of pride and this is a main course dinner for the ego, which when over-inflated always causes misery and suffering. Let go of all possessions, not just physical.

Anyways, just wanted to share this.
Sorry it drags on and sort of ends abruptly. It was a smoother ending in the speech…

Cheers 🙂

March 24th, ‘15

Walking the spiritual path means continually removing all obstacles that are holding us back from absolute freedom and liberation, whether externally or internally. By slowly detaching ourselves from those that are holding us back and cleansing the mind of the impurities of reaction and ego, we come to a time where the deepest operations can occur and the pristine state can be reached.

Although it is possible to walk it around others, it is more conducive when walked alone or strictly celibate. That is until the destination is reached and full liberation is attained, full freedom is gained. That is why the Saints and sages of the past have emphasized not being attached to our friends and family. Gotama left his wife and child without even saying goodbye. Jesus said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters–yes, even their own life–such a person cannot be my disciple.” I feel this also to be true and I’m sorry to those that have felt hurt because of this tough choice. It’s a continuously hard decision but I hope you all see what I am trying to do and forgive me.

Mentally, how can we say we have absolute freedom if when a certain event happens, the mind automatically reacts in a certain way, without our permission or desire to do so. Certainly this is not absolute freedom.

Once again, I love you all and I promise one day that “this will all make sense.”

March 27th, ‘15

Just had a crazy good experience with two people in the bungalows.

I feel we are in the process of building the foundations for the climax or culmination of this cycle. The eternal climax… 🙂

One could say it is an ultimately unimportant or relatively important time, and if ultimacy and relativity are of equal “importance”, then it would also be considered an ultimately important time. The present moment is leading to the climax of why we are here… Relatively. The eternal climax.

We may lose some battles, but it is impossible for us to lose the war.

It’s amazing to see a person changing from ego to less ego. It’s cool though that the ego builds the foundation of what our future selves will utilize. When we drop the ego we utilize or use what the ego built for us in the past. Shatter the ego.


I’ve noticed that a lot of people I have talked to in past two days have broke down crying tears of joy.

April 12th, ‘15

Testing out the new Ipad mini with Keyboard. So sick! Purchased for 40,500. A bit more then I wanted to spend but I think it will be worth it for sure as I can still take pics, listen to language courses, etc. Exciting! Tomorrow I have to go to the first stage of acquiring my Indian visa.

I am starting to think that going to Varanasi first may be the better option as Darjeeling is wicked expensive when I was planning on going. Would be great to go there and just write and paint sadhus each day 🙂

Must buy those paints and find proper paper tomorrow as I have planned to meet a deaf and mute sadhu named Ababa Ramji tomorrow or the next day to paint his cosmic dance. Super stoked.


I haven’t had such a productive day where everything I wanted to do or have happen happened or came true. Was amazing. I’ll see if tomorrow follows suit. I am so excited for the new iPad mini. Think it is above and beyond what I expected. I’ll have no qualms selling the IPhone now.

Tomorrow I go to drop off paperwork for Indian visa then I think I move into Razzmatazz, perhaps the nicest for the price rooms in Kathmandu. The people there are spectacular. I am so happy I ran into them and met the owner today. He let me sit at their main computer and do a lot of work.

Got This American Sadhu registered.

Also I met this crazy Nepali guy tonight randomly from Austrailia who is going to show me the Newari side of KTM the next few days. He was a bit strange and ego inflicted but I don’t think our encounter was by chance.

I am pretty sure that I am going to end up starting my trip to India in Varanasi. It’s just all the signs are pointing that way. I think it will be perfect actually as I love the city and think it will be great to start the blog there.


I really like the idea that there will be three main writing parts to each day. Or four with the conclusion of optimism.

I also like adding in the first post… Eventually I believe this will be a go-to blog for a lot of people seeking their daily dose of pure and loving optimism, because my beliefs are extremely optimistic.

First of all, I’ll try to start every post with a new watercolor painting.
For the writing, First will be the spiritual/philosophical/prophetical/ theoretical part. 2nd will be the one page story in 2nd/3rd person that will tell some crazy story that happened during the day. These can eventually be read back to back and will make a book perhaps. 3rd part will be the actual “I did this, I did that today. This is why I love or don’t love this place, etc.” Maybe it would be better though to end it with the story. Then the very end I’ll end it with some very optimistic words and the daily reporting of how money was spent.

Tomorrow after the trip to the Indian embassy, I’ll keep looking for the paint set and proper paper to paint Ababa Ramji. I’ll also work on figuring out the exact layout of the blog and start either typing all the notes of April or the first blog post itself.

Lastly, I just remembered that I was offered to walk on a Nepali fashion show runway today. I must be sending out some serious swag vibes 🙂 hehe. Too bad I was leaving before it began. The two girl designers were smoking hot Nepalis too.

And perhaps after Varanasi go to Sarnath then Vrindaven. Vrindaven would be perfect to meet the Hari Krishnas and if my friend Mangala is there I can stay with her!!! It is a Bhakti capital!!! I’d practice and perfect my voice in Varanasi and take it there! Yes! Also look up where Arunchal is. So it’s looking like 10 days in Varanasi. 2-3 days in Sarnath. One week in Vrindaven. Then to Bodh Gaya to stay with a friend and to do service. Perfect.

April 13th, ‘15 – 3:00 pm

There is approximately million people who work and live off of non-profit charity. I dont see a big difference between what I am trying to accomplish and what they are trying to accomplish. My method is just extremely transparent and detailed down to every penny that is donated, whereas when people donate to these large charities there is no telling where the money actually goes and into whose wallets. Every penny donated will go to the intended purposes of the blog, which will be to teach people how to travel materially and financially austerely and to openly donate to individuals and organizations who are in need along the way.

Sadhus have lived this way throughout history. Living off the charity of others. This blog and project is just a modern day version of what has been going on for thousands of years. The modern day sadhu. Sadhus travel from place to place as karmic sinks for the population or karma generators as I like to call them. I am attempting to be a karmic generator for the readers and supporters of this blog, channeling the karma that I may have received for providing service or financial aid to those in need.

It is all about generating the maximum amount of happiness. If it makes me happy and it make them happy and it makes the readers happy then it is a win-win for all.

Romancing the Spirit: One of the Most Important Metaphysical “Rules of the Game”


(Originally written in Pisac, Peru in August of 2016)

Many times throughout our lives, people are meant for each other; maybe not forever, but for that precise moment. And that is beautiful in itself. Why do people feel compulsions to be around or with certain people and not others? Promiscuity is heavily stigmatized in societies throughout the world. Should it be? Of course, complete sexual promiscuity without any conscious intention can be harmful, but promiscuity in the idea that we are naturally attracted to people we meet on our journeys should not be necessarily looked down upon because there are important reasons for it. There is a mature way to understand and handle our relationships and friendships. If we can totally learn this “art”, how far can we go? This is the “art” that I am studying and would like to begin to explain.

Delusions are important in our lives in that after a delusionary episode, whether big or small, we are less likely in the future to fall into the same delusion again or others that are similar. Nearly always, we do not realize that we are delusionary until after the period has finished, and that is fine as long as we successfully make it into a clear frame of mind from which to view and assimilate new realizations. Once we have made it through enough delusions, we can start to be more aware of when we are actually living in reality and what reality entails. Many may think “reality” being something beyond “this world”, but reality is within this world if we can find it.

I have gone through many transformations within the past seven years or so. Initially my journey led down the path of volunteer work or “karma yoga” in Nepal. This led me to a further appreciation of “service” to others and the qualities that matter to different religions. After returning to the states, my passion to understand various religions continued and eventually led me down the spiritual path, which can be read about here. Last year I began this blog to document what I had learned and to have an outlet to write in the future. The “new” knowledge that I have learned has sort of taken this to a “higher level” per se, at least in my own regards.

Three months ago, after my last meditation course, I was “presented” with a book written by Carl Jung to study and incorporate into my own path. Actually I had bought two Jung books about four months before and read the first Memories, Dreams, and Reflections. The second book, Archetypes of the Collective Unconscious, I began after the Vipassana course on “meta day.” When I started reading it, because of the clarity of my mind at the time, I was able to quickly deduce whether what he was trying to say was correct or not. Within a very short amount of pages, my entire life had changed. I was just able to see my own past and present experiences and relationships in a new light and the world made much more sense afterwards. Since then, I have applied this information to my life and it has totally changed once again.

I was immediately able to see my present relationship and past few relationships in this light and I was able to communicate with those individuals and share with them what I had learned. Initially there was confusion or non-belief, but eventually they knew it to be true as well.

The basis is this: The only way that we can evolve or change who we are is by being around other people. Not so far-fetched. But to understand the exact processes that occur, metaphysically, changes everything.

One important aspect of Jung’s “theory” is that it is not a theory at all, but an empirical fact. That anyone can understand and replicate this within their own lives. Even if we are hesitant to believe, it still is always occurring, has always occurred, and will always occur. With this said, the more that people can be aware of this knowledge, the faster “positive” changes can happen within our society at large.

There are many different types of archetypes, but Jung chooses to focus heavily on the anima archetype or anima/anima relationship the most, perhaps because it is quite easy to see in our lives. He states that the meeting of an anima and an animus is fate, but what occurs after the meeting is free will. Anyone that studies philosophy will understand the debate that has occurred since time remembered of whether or not we have free will or pre-destination. In this metaphysical system, fate and free will co-exist in the present moment. Through our own free will we change who we are fated to meet. Perhaps only through this process can we actually meet the “one” if they do indeed exist. I have written about it a lot in past writings. Finally, this is an easy way to see how both can work within our world.

Why is there a need for these relationships to occur? The reason for these meetings to occur is to create balance within our society, by creating balance within the individual. Balance how? It is important to understand that we can be either an anima or an animus and are throughout our lives to countless individuals. The anima is the representative of the feminine unconscious. The animus is the representative of the masculine consciousness. When these two meet up, the desired “goal” is for both parties to work together to “transmute” the unconscious anima archetype, making it conscious. When this occurs, the person who had an imbalance of femininity becomes more masculine and the person with an imbalance of masculinity becomes more feminine. This is the only way for this “balancing” to occur on a spiritual “internal” level. In actuality, we are not really balancing our own energies, we are increasing them both to higher levels gradually. Masculine energy does not necessarily mean “manliness” and feminine energy does not necessarily mean “womanliness.” To me increasing our masculine energy means increasing our ability to “take control” of our lives. Increasing our feminine energy means learning to “let go”. If someone takes control or let’s go for too long, both paths lead to misery. We must learn to “swim” between the two energies. This can only be done through the process of the anima-animus relationship.

Meditation is amazing in the fact that it can help us to become the “best possible version” of who we are at this moment, but it cannot fundamentally change who we are. The anima/animus relationship is actually the way to mold and change who we are and we cannot always “choose” the way that we would like to evolve. This is actually beneficial to the “grand story” in that we do not know who we will be in the future as we do not know who “fate” has in store for us to meet. In my own journey, there is no way I could have predicted who I would be today one year ago, five years ago, ten years ago, etc. I believe this “path” will continue and there is no way I can predict who I will be in the years to come. Those that wish to “plan” their whole lives, to stay on a “path” or “track” are actually limiting themselves and their own evolution.

So, occasionally, when a person is “stuck” for too long in their own path, whether that be the conscious “in control” path or the unconscious “letting go” path, an individual will be “fatefully” assigned to that person to help them “break free” from their own evolution’s “stuckness”. This occurs every moment of every day for people across the world, whether they are aware of it or not. It is so fundamental and intrinsic to our world that the world could not continue otherwise. Jung goes further and states that this process has been occurring since before time began. Something that is not necessarily important to fully understand at this moment, other than everything that we think we know, our morals, our history, everything has actually been shaped by this process.

If we can be consciously aware of this process in our day-to-day lives, we can actually change our own fate, or at least who we will meet in the future. Where will it lead? Who will we meet? The “one”? Does the one actually exist? Because the thought or the experience of the one comes so often, especially as an anima, we must be constantly vigilant to its potential falsehood. The one may just be special in that they allow us to continue meeting new people, except with the stability of a companion to keep us “on track”.

The anima within, at least to me, feels like a “compulsion” to be with a specific person or animus. Overtime, which varies, this compulsion slowly rises and passes away and then all that exists is love. There is no more compulsion, and it is “ok” for both to move on in their respective lives separately. Usually, coming back together feels that the two never separated and the love between the two does not decrease. There is just no longer a “need” to be with that person. There is no more jealousy or anger if that person moves on and usually both people do feel comfortable moving on after a transmutation has occurred. Many times, they can and do stay together. This process occurs whether people are consciously aware of it or not.

I have always noticed that I tend to fall in and out of love quickly and this information explains the reasons I have always been like this. Is it a “bad” thing? Perhaps society may say so, but I see it as a plus to be “successful” in this life and process. Is love something that can be controlled or only accepted when it comes? For me I merely accept it when it comes in the present and I know that it will always come again in the future.

To me, it is incredible that this is not “common knowledge” at this moment. Perhaps it has been in the past, but just forgotten or not properly acknowledged. When we discover metaphysical empirical facts about our lives that we were at one time unaware of, it can make a major shift in our development and awareness.

In the past, if I met someone I was perhaps different from, or didn’t particularly like, or seemed boring, I might not have given them the time of day. I just didn’t think it was important to focus on them. Now I see the importance of every meeting and every person that I meet. This process allows both individuals to “evolve,” and in doing so it evolves humanity. What is the final evolution? Is there one? I’m not sure, but it is not necessarily important. The journey is the destination.

In the past three months since I began consciously “experimenting” with this knowledge, I feel my life has taken another course. I can now actively see when “fate” intervenes in my life, introducing me to new people. I no longer have to actively seek out new relationships or friendships. They are “sent” to me. I can also now immediately be aware of when I am an anima or animus to another person. I can see their “imbalances” of masculinity or femininity and why I am there in their life. Since I am completely comfortable with my own masculinity or femininity, there is a pretty equal amount of times that I am “chosen” to be either an anima or an animus. I have also got to the point that I can recognize the transformations that are occurring within my own spirit and body, becoming more masculine or feminine after transmutations. These changes inevitably change my own course and who I will meet in the future. My physique has changed in the past three months. Muscles and “sculptedness” are coming to areas that were not “sculpted” in the past, without any type of physical exercise to accompany it.

In essence, this process means that we will never get tired of our lives, for we will never know who we will be in the future. A society of constantly evolving fully aware individuals will be something amazing to witness. We will never get tired or want to go somewhere else like “heaven” or “nirvana.” This is heaven on earth… If one can answer the question of why we are here, and easy answer would be to continually evolve. This process, and understanding it fully, is one of the most fundamental ways of doing so.

We should not be afraid of swimming throughout the world, meeting new people, and realizing why we are meeting them. Embrace this metaphysical “rule to the game”.